im drinking this country out of the recession.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
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While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
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Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
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