he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
