The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
