My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
