there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
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