When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
