brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He? As in you personified your dick?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
PANTIES FOUND
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