Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
