I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
