Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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