Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
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At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
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It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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