who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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