I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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