: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Randomize
