Got a toothbrush?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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