I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
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