K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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