everyone is single if you try hard enough
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
