Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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