I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
