there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
