i barfeds in our rink
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
