he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize