just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
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"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
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That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.