i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.