bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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