Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(424): View more from California

I'd wear matching sweaters with you

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(424): I'd wear matching sweaters with you http://tfl.nu/xbhf

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(708): View more from Illinois

Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.

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(708): Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot. http://tfl.nu/16kw

Replies (2) Good night (1076) Bad night (372) Order T-Shirt
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(218): View more from Minnesota

Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?

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(218): Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night? http://tfl.nu/5syc

Replies (4) Good night (2461) Bad night (1369) Order T-Shirt
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(817): View more from Texas

I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!

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(817): I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network! http://tfl.nu/tfom

Replies (3) Good night (2927) Bad night (467) Order T-Shirt
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(510): View more from California

come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.

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(510): come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy. http://tfl.nu/dyh1

Replies (18) Good night (5683) Bad night (745) Order T-Shirt
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(303): View more from Colorado

She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.

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(303): She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it. http://tfl.nu/nwdc

Replies (6) Good night (2795) Bad night (804) Order T-Shirt
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(787): View more from Puerto Rico

Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt

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(787): Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt http://tfl.nu/aoj7

Replies (4) Good night (3289) Bad night (1208) Order T-Shirt
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(860): View more from Connecticut

We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"

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(860): We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no" http://tfl.nu/13gy

Replies (7) Good night (2306) Bad night (841) Order T-Shirt
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.

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(508): Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area. http://tfl.nu/biqi

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(910): View more from North Carolina

I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up

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(910): I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up http://tfl.nu/word

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(280): View more from

So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.

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(280): So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on. http://tfl.nu/vkfv

Replies (12) Good night (2057) Bad night (373)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.

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(973): Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical. http://tfl.nu/hbh3

Replies (9) Good night (1869) Bad night (364) Order T-Shirt
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(873): View more from

I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in

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(873): I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in http://tfl.nu/bvll

Replies (3) Good night (1823) Bad night (270) Order T-Shirt
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out

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(215): i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out http://tfl.nu/4dk0

Replies (13) Good night (542) Bad night (828)
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(650): View more from California

At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.

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(650): At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe. http://tfl.nu/ot23

Replies (2) Good night (771) Bad night (218)

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