You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.