I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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