Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize