just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize