It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
