I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
