No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
My ass is underappreciated
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
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