yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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