I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
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