I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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