the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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