Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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