Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(908): View more from New Jersey

But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes

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(908): But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes http://tfl.nu/c86w

Replies (24) Good night (3467) Bad night (750)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this

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(250): This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this http://tfl.nu/tv14

Replies (8) Good night (2539) Bad night (852)
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(925): View more from California

you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.

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(925): you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes. http://tfl.nu/km2x

Replies (18) Good night (739) Bad night (2990)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..

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(918): i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning.. http://tfl.nu/cvhe

Replies (39) Good night (7309) Bad night (1023)
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(360): View more from Washington

While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.

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(360): While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever. http://tfl.nu/mdyd

Replies (16) Good night (6617) Bad night (909)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

Why am I in a dog kennel?

(1-803): View more from South Carolina

It was for your own safety

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(803): Why am I in a dog kennel? (1-803): It was for your own safety http://tfl.nu/w7ni

Replies (27) Good night (13386) Bad night (1711)
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(972): View more from Texas

I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.

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(972): I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip. http://tfl.nu/tlq7

Replies (12) Good night (2011) Bad night (1316)
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(760): View more from California

They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure

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(760): They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure http://tfl.nu/8s7w

Replies (11) Good night (1366) Bad night (837)
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(281): View more from Texas

I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..

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(281): I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy.. http://tfl.nu/39a9

Replies (12) Good night (3209) Bad night (783)
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(727): View more from Florida

Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.

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(727): Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit. http://tfl.nu/berc

Replies (5) Good night (1671) Bad night (602)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

soon, soon....

(908): View more from New Jersey

I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....

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(732): soon, soon.... (908): I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus..... http://tfl.nu/hpc3

Replies (4) Good night (1007) Bad night (666)
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(301): View more from Maryland

You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there

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(301): You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there http://tfl.nu/jnb5

Replies (2) Good night (678) Bad night (389)
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(801): View more from Utah

If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.

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(801): If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run. http://tfl.nu/bk6l

Replies (4) Good night (510) Bad night (1086)
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(619): View more from California

You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch

(1-619): View more from California

Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.

(619): View more from California

Love you...

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(619): You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch (1-619): Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you. (619): Love you... http://tfl.nu/dldo

Replies (1) Good night (638) Bad night (570)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.

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(336): he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded. http://tfl.nu/l70w

Replies (3) Good night (1025) Bad night (310)

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