And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
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