Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
