I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
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No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
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Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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