Is it normal to miss your booty call?
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?