plz talk dirty to me
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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