I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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