Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
