I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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