I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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