she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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