I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
