TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
