dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize