Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
