I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
