Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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