i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
third nipple confirmed
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