He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
We need to get me chipped asap
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize