if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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