i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
