Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Randomize
