I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Sorry about my life...
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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