how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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