Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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