My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
