and i looked up. we had an audience...
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I think my nap took me to another dimension
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
