I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
