We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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